Hylton I Lightman, MD, DCH (SA), FAAP

Congratulations on your newborn. The bundle of joy might be your first or your fifth but some things are equalizers in life and never change – sleepless nights resulting in feeling hung over and walking around in a fog. An inevitable question is, “Dr. Lightman – What should be my baby’s sleep patterns?”

First, know that unless Bubby, Zaidy or a benevolent aunt or uncle move in or you hire a nurse, being sleep deprived is part of your job description for the present.

Newborns sleep a lot, typically up to 16-17 hours per day. Most babies don’t stay awake for more than 2-4 hours at a time the first several weeks of life.

Why?
Because they’re not kids and they’re not adults: Remember? As a (yet again) new parent, you’ll be up several times during the night to feed, change and comfort Junior. Baby sleep cycles are short. They spend more time in REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is necessary for their brain development. Maximum growth for all children is during REM sleep which is when we dream and the body relaxes. We don’t know for certain but we are confident that when a newborn smiles while sleeping, it’s because he’s dreaming about his wonderful parents. It’s not about gas.

At about 6-8 weeks, things begin to change. Most babies sleep for shorter periods of time during the day and longer stretches at night. They should still wake up at night for night feedings. As tiresome as it may be for Mommy and Abba, a newborn’s waking up to eat, pish and poop is a sign of health. Each baby is unique and should not be compared to other siblings nor to other well-meaning advice givers’ experiences.

Many babies don’t reach this milestone of sleeping longer stretches until closer to 6 months of age. This is normal. Their systems are still developing. There’s no guarantee that introducing solids into your baby’s diet will improve sleep patterns.

The good news is that you can help your baby get to good sleeping habits by minding several points.

Allow your baby to nap frequently. Don’t push your baby during the first 6-8 weeks to go for longer than 2 hours without a nap. He will become overtired and then agitated and it will be difficult calming and settling him.

Teach your baby the difference between day and night. Don’t think about doing this until your baby is two weeks old. Be patient. Most babies pick up on the rhythm of the household and will begin to fall into the routine by one month of age. Until then, you can gently coax your baby to where you want him to be. Establish and wake up time and stick to it even if your little guy has kept you up most of the night. During daylight hours, open the shades and curtain and let the sun shine in. Play music (not loudly, please). Dance with your baby. Run the vacuum cleaner. Put in a load of laundry. Embrace normal household sounds. Engage your baby and interact with him

When it’s nap time or bed time, darken the room and soften the sounds. Speak in a soft voice to calm rather than relate with him.

It’s normal that one night may go well and the next night is a disaster. This, too, is normal. It take time to establish patterns and good habits.

Baby should have his own place to sleep. It might be a cradle, carriage, or bassinette. Preferably, it should not be the car seat. Sleeping in the car seat can cause torticollis where one side of the neck muscles tighten, causing his head to tilt to one side. This interferes with optimal development.

Infants should sleep in the same room as their parents. The separate sleeping space should never be on a couch, arm chair or soft surface.

Please don’t argue with me about the so-called benefits of co-sleeping with your baby. Rubbish. At a minimum, co-sleeping is not good for sustaining the emotional closeness and physical intimacy between Mom and Dad.

The bottom line: The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is emphatic that co-sleeping is a big no-no and can compromise the life of an infant. You can read more about this at http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2016/10/20/
peds.2016.

There are people who try to sleep train their babies through the night starting at 6 weeks of age. Please. This is not good for the baby. A 6-week old should have addressed his needs of love, affection and comforting. Maybe you’ll be successful and he’ll sleep through the night. But I can almost guarantee you that you’ll pay a price for it – and it’s not worth it.

Infants should be moved to another room after four months of age. This will help him to establish better sleeping patterns. A baby can also hear, see and smell his parents.

One last point – Place the baby on his back. Statistics show lower incidence of SID (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome — https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/sudden-infant-deathsyndrome/symptoms-causes/syc-20352800) when this happens. It doesn’t matter if he has a flatter shaped head than the children of yesteryear.

I can’t say that I miss the sleep-deprived nights of caring for a newborn. But I’m more familiar with them that you would think. After all, I carry the beeper.😊

As always, daven.